Category: Dating and Relationships
A lot of people say they would only lose their virginity to someone who they loved dearly, otherwise they would later regret it. Being a virgin, I really don't care how I lose my virginity. If I don't love the person but I wanted to have sex with them and they happen to be the first person I have sex with then fine; I'll get my rocks off and that's it. If I eventually meet someone I love and have sex with them but they're not my first that doesn't make it any less special. People seem to think that sex has to be a huge deal, but if both parties agree that they're just screwing around with no real emotional attachment I see no reason why that can't happen.
I'd like to get others' opinions on this. Is it more of a girl thing to have to love your first partner? Am I crazy? Let me know.
I agree with you.
If something happens it happens but it is still important to think first.
nice way of thinking. I think one thing is to fuck and another is to make love with that special person.
i feel that sex should be with someone you are in love with
agree with poster 4
I view sex as something meaningful as well.
I treasure and protect my virginity. Sex isn't something I want to do randomly, or with multiple people, because once I lose it, I can't ever get it back, so I'd like to think I'll be spending the rest of my life with the first girl i have sex with.
It all comes down to individual views. I, personally, could never just go out and fuck someone for the hell of it (although my ex suggested it once), but I see nothing wrong with doing that as long as both parties realize it's nothing serious or long-term. I agree with the previous posters that sex is something meaningful and should be shared with someone you have feelings for, but I think no less of those who feel differently. A lot of people view losing your virginity as a milestone, something major and life-changing and so on, but I don't think it has any special significance other than the significance attached to sex at any other time. Because I believe sex should be something special between two people who care for one another, I believe losing your virginity should be something special, but if you don't view sex itself as such, then I see no reason why your first time should have to be more serious than any of the rest of the times you have sex.
Interesting topic but I think some of you have missed the point; the question is about virginity specifically, not sex in general. A lot of rubbish is spoken about the importance of virginity and how it should be the start of a loving, long-term relationship. Virginity isn't the start of a relationship, it is the start of your sex life, something which is just as important to nurture as social skills and emotional awareness. My first time was okay, but I don't regret it and I see for exactly what it was; the first time I had sex. Looking back, the relationship wasn't particularly deep or special but it was what it was, and several years on, I'm now a demon in the sack *grin*
In seriousness though, rather than looking at losing virginity as an indicator of the importance of the relationship, it is essential to know that YOU are ready for the resulting feelings, highs and lows and the potential consequences, whether you are in a "steady" relationship or just having sex for pleasure.
totally agree. I guess is different for a guy than for a girl
Jesse's answer interests me the most, because I'd like to know the advantages of being a virgin (why keep your virginity?) This is really what I'm trying to get at - what is so special about your virginity that you don't want to lose it? More often than not that seems to be the reason why people say they'd only lose it with someone special. Plus I hear the first time having sex is not more pleasurable than all the others, it's actually less so and more awkward (and probably painful for women).
Sex is sex folks!
Whatever goes goes.
now thats the spirit! lol
It's simply because I view my sexual purity a gift that I can give to my wife. That's just the way I am. Ya'll are entitled to your own view.
I used to think that way, but when it happened, I realized that it's not all it's cracked up to be...Like losing it to a stranger is just wrong, but being in head over in heels in love with the first person you have sex with, to me at least, is made too much of a big deal of, because, afterall, sex is just sex...but then again, that's just me. Yeah fucking is one thing, making love is another, but the first time's not gonna be this whole romantic thing we tend to hear about...maybe for some ppl, but most no, that's not the case.
No I don’t think it’s “a girl thing” to have to love your first partner, and I also don’t think you’re crazy for thinking the way you do. But I think there are some things you ought to consider if you haven’t already. Keep in mind that I’m only saying this to make you aware that not all people (men and women) view sex or love in the same way; we all have different values and morals; and as you get older these things change, five years from now you will not think of sex or of love as you currently do. And ItsAConspiraZ, I’ll try to address your question on post 11.
It’s seems to me somewhat irresponsible and inconsiderate that anyone should think having sex would not be less special when finally finding someone you truly love. This type of reasoning in my opinion is what leads to teenaged pregnancy, or unwanted babies (abortion), or contracting sexual diseases, or divorce.
But I say it’s irresponsible to think this way because clearly many important factors have been left out and have not been seriously considered; for example, think of how important your reputation is especially when you’ve reached a point in your life where finding that special someone becomes all-consuming, and you’d just like to rid yourself of loneliness. How the heck will you be thinking then when you’re tired of promiscuity, if you’ve spent your time carelessly sleeping around with a lot of partners? If by then you’re not fed up with a series of disappointments, and if by then you’re not distrustful of uncaring partners, then let me tell you my friend that special someone will never come; and even though you may think that that special someone has come into your life, what the hell makes you think they will easily dismiss your past, your reputation, or the many partners you’ve had? Not only that but think of what you’ll be looking for once you’ve reached that point in your life, think of what you’ll be running from once you’ve decided in your heart not to mess around anymore; will you be searching for someone whose profile bears the marks of promiscuity? No, I don’t think so!
Just keep in mind that you’re responsible for the impressions you make upon important and not so important people in your life. Or think of it this way, a virgin, or a person who considers sex sacred or special will not want to destroy their reputation by getting involved with you if you’re known as a male or a female whore. Say no to prostitutes! lol
And it’s inconsiderate to think that having sex will not be less special when you fall in love because by saying this you’re setting yourself up for what may possibly turn out to be an unhealthy predicament. You don’t know the future, and the character of the person that you finally fall in love with is also unknown. Okay, let’s just say for argument’s sake that you fall in love with a person whose reasoning is similar to your’s, who thinks having sex is not special, but in your heart you have decided that you don’t want to mess around anymore; now tell me, will you trust such a person with your heart, to the point of giving all you have into the relationship, to the point that you will probably decide to marry? Will it be easy? Or consider this: let’s say that you leave all your promiscuous ways far behind, and that you don’t want to have anything to do with the type of people who entered your life in the past; and let’s say that someone comes along who is totally different, who has not had more than two partners or who is possibly a virgin, someone you’re looking for; what the hell do you think the quality of life with you will be for such a person if they fall in love with you? Consider that my friend, especially if you want such a one to fall in love with you. Consider the importance of your trustworthiness, your credibility in the heart of one who is a virgin, because once you’ve entered into a meaningful relationship, or more importantly once you’ve married, you cannot be as selfish or as careless as you can be when you’re single or just messing around, no emotional attachments and all that nonsense.
Of course this is only so that you consider the actions you’re taking; of course one’s virginity shouldn’t be used as a weapon or as a means to progress into a deeper level in a relationship, but just keep in mind that having sex or losing one’s virginity isn’t something that is completely without consequences. If you’re not careful, if you’re not responsible or considerate of these things, then you may inadvertently be putting upon yourself as an outfit the idea most people have of a male or female whore. Lol Just thought I’d make it clearer for you since the replies to your post didn’t really explain this.
As for the way I feel about it personally, I think I’ll keep my comments to myself. Thank you.
Raskolnikov, you have a different idea of what sexuality means. I personally don't care how much of a whore someone has been in the past if they say they're ready to start a serious relationship with me. You remind me of the main character in Chasing Amy (decent movie, interesting story) who freaked out once he found out hsi girlfriend (who he thought to be a lesbian) had a colorful sexual history 9involving threesums and other kinky stuff. Thinking he was the only man to ever have sex with her, his jealousy overtook him which resulted in the end of their relationship. This was a pitty too because they both really loved each other. One of the other characters told the guy that he should be lucky that she settled for him (afterall, she's had almost everyone) but he didn't listen. Judging people on such silly things as their sexlife before you would only lead to more worrying and frustration.
But I don’t get it, I mean, weren’t you trying to understand why a person would be hesitant about losing their virginity? That’s what I was trying to explain. The things I brought up in my previous post were to help you understand perceived advantages held by such persons, or at least this is how I think they see things. Their opinions are worth considering, don’t you think so, otherwise, why in the hell did you post this topic?
And as I said not everyone thinks similarly about sex and love; as we age values and morals change because of our experiences. My previous post was sort of a compare and contrast to help you understand why one would choose to remain a virgin until marriage, and why one’s opinion about sex and love would change later on in life. I am not sure I did a good job of this though.
But now it seems that you’re calling one’s sex life a silly thing, and it appears that you base this statement on a film you watched, a film that most likely romanticizes reality and leaves out crucial details. You want to base your opinions about this all on the moral or plot of a film, go right ahead then my friend, I personally wouldn’t recommend it though. I don’t know, I guess I’d just rather have a more realistic and personal idea about sex and all the possible consequences.
My personal opinion about losing one’s virginity was not brought up in my previous post, I choose to keep that to myself.
I disagree. You can have a chance of getting pregnant, then what?